I read this, and since it fits my love of lists and my love of New Year's resolutions (more on that later, perhaps), here are my 7 Sevens:
7 things I want to do in 2006:
*Get back to playing music (piano, flute, and learn guitar)
*Treat my time with God as importantly as I treat time with my husband
*Figure out what kind of master's degree I want to pursue (education? counseling? political science?) and maybe start a class
*Do something service-related in a new area that stretches me
*Exercise more and learn to cook more healthy things (2 in one, but oh well)
*Read more books on theological and spiritual issues
*Spend more time maintaining friendships with short notes, emails, calls, etc
7 things to do less of in 2006:
*Watch TV shows
*Eating fast food and candy
*Worrying about possible crises/disasters/losses
*Read books centering on death and pessimism
*Wasting free time
*Taking family for granted
*Being controlling
7 ways I'm going to be a better wife/friend/daughter in 2006:
*Be more up front with HH about what I want or need him to do, instead of trying to manipulate or be sneaky (and he usually catches on anyway)
*Plan more dinners with my parents- and sister- in law
*Call my grandparents and brother more often
*Call friends and family for a short time when I have a few minutes, instead of thinking that long conversations are the only important ones
*Pray for wisdom in knowing how to support HH, surprise him, and let him lead
*Pray for my students and treat their visits during lunch or after school as opportunities, not bothers
7 Scripture passages I want to memorize in 2006:
*It's been so long since I've disciplined myself to memorize anything, I want to brush up on the Awana verses I memorized growing up
*Break Romans 7-8 into 6 sections, and those are my other 6 passages :-)
7 Books to read in 2006 (that I've not read before):
*The Civil War: A Narrative, Shelby Foote
*The White Album, Joan Didion
*The Tamuli Trilogy, David Eddings
*A Grief Observed, CS Lewis
*The Gulag Archipelago, Alexander Solzhenitsyn
*Soul Survivor, by Philip Yancey (or other books by him)
*some kind of low-fat cookbook :-)
7 movies to watch in 2006 (that I've never seen):
*The Graduate
*Tristan and Isolde (depending on what rating it gets)
*Underworld 2 (HH's request for a date movie)
*March of the Penguins
*X-Men 3 (hurrah!)
*Lady in the Water (I like M. Night Shyamalan's creepiness)
*and some indie movies that have yet to be publicized
Side note: a movie worth re-watching (or watching, if you haven't seen it):
*Crash (if everyone in the US could see this, what discussions and possible changes it might cause!
7 people I want to join this list-making:
* Brad and anyone else who reads this! (I don't know if there are 7 of you, but ah well :-)
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
2 weeks of bliss
Happy 2006 to all! And by that I mean that I hope that you, reader, as well as myself, have a year of growth and challenges and grace and the awareness of God's love.
I've really enjoyed the first 3 days of this year, not for any huge reason other than I'm on break from school (well, from work- since my work is teaching school) and it's SO nice! The intuitive reader can probably deduce that since my last post was the middle of December and titled 'Sick', the weeks between then and now were filled first with a huge rush of end-of-semester craziness and holiday craziness, followed by the break. The intuitive reader probably cannot deduce that my 2 weeks of break (of which I only have half a week left) have been filled with a great visit to my family in California for Christmas, seeing old friends, spending time with HH (whole days when we're both off! I love those), staying up late and getting up late, and general laziness.
Side discovery- I think my natural sleep pattern, had I no constraints of alarms, work schedules, etc, would be about 12:30 am to 8 or 8:30 am. It's been so good to feel actually rested on a consistent basis! During the work week, though, giving that much time to sleep means less time with HH.
The enjoyment I'm feeling at these 2 weeks off, though, brings up musings on my attitude towards work. When I'm on break like this, I feel like I actually have a life that expresses me- I have time to read, to play music, to do rubber stamping, to clean the house to the level of organization that I want it to be, to see friends. Naturally, then, I wish that life could be like this all the time- no grading, no stress over lesson plans or kids' behavior, no early mornings, no 11-hour work days. Does that mean I hate my job? I know that I certainly don't like it sometimes, but on the other hand there are lots of satisfying and fun elements to it. Plus I certainly am not lazy when I'm working, and I sure get lazy fast when I'm on break like this. And it's not a reasonable expectation to have all leisure time and no responsibilities or work- most people for most of history haven't had that expectation (some aristocrats and royalty excepted). So I guess the main question is then the sense of mission that I do or don't have with my work- the more purpose it holds, and the more results I see, the more satisfaction (for any job, not just teaching). I think my joy at the break, and reluctance to think about going back on Monday, are partly because I lose sight of the purpose and the results (purpose seems theoretical, and results are rarely seen). I need to spend some time of my break mentally chewing on this, rather than putting it off until Monday morning. Hopefully it'll make the spring semester be more enjoyable and less something to be endured. Because I don't want to spend 4 months enduring something, I want to enjoy it!
I've really enjoyed the first 3 days of this year, not for any huge reason other than I'm on break from school (well, from work- since my work is teaching school) and it's SO nice! The intuitive reader can probably deduce that since my last post was the middle of December and titled 'Sick', the weeks between then and now were filled first with a huge rush of end-of-semester craziness and holiday craziness, followed by the break. The intuitive reader probably cannot deduce that my 2 weeks of break (of which I only have half a week left) have been filled with a great visit to my family in California for Christmas, seeing old friends, spending time with HH (whole days when we're both off! I love those), staying up late and getting up late, and general laziness.
Side discovery- I think my natural sleep pattern, had I no constraints of alarms, work schedules, etc, would be about 12:30 am to 8 or 8:30 am. It's been so good to feel actually rested on a consistent basis! During the work week, though, giving that much time to sleep means less time with HH.
The enjoyment I'm feeling at these 2 weeks off, though, brings up musings on my attitude towards work. When I'm on break like this, I feel like I actually have a life that expresses me- I have time to read, to play music, to do rubber stamping, to clean the house to the level of organization that I want it to be, to see friends. Naturally, then, I wish that life could be like this all the time- no grading, no stress over lesson plans or kids' behavior, no early mornings, no 11-hour work days. Does that mean I hate my job? I know that I certainly don't like it sometimes, but on the other hand there are lots of satisfying and fun elements to it. Plus I certainly am not lazy when I'm working, and I sure get lazy fast when I'm on break like this. And it's not a reasonable expectation to have all leisure time and no responsibilities or work- most people for most of history haven't had that expectation (some aristocrats and royalty excepted). So I guess the main question is then the sense of mission that I do or don't have with my work- the more purpose it holds, and the more results I see, the more satisfaction (for any job, not just teaching). I think my joy at the break, and reluctance to think about going back on Monday, are partly because I lose sight of the purpose and the results (purpose seems theoretical, and results are rarely seen). I need to spend some time of my break mentally chewing on this, rather than putting it off until Monday morning. Hopefully it'll make the spring semester be more enjoyable and less something to be endured. Because I don't want to spend 4 months enduring something, I want to enjoy it!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Sick
Bleagh.
That's always been one of my favorite written expressions (a favorite of Snoopy when he doesn't like something, in the Peanuts comic). This weekend it really fit. I was sucker-punched by some really nasty virus- cold, fever, aches, dizzy, the whole bit. And though I usually get over those in 24 hours, this one had me down for 2 whole days, plus the getting-sick and getting-better days on each end. Today I feel better but my sinuses are still having major problems (upon which I will not expound, to the relief of the reader). Fortunately I was able to pull together a sub lesson for Friday on Thursday night, because I could feel myself getting worse, so tomorrow morning I will see what awaits me back at school. Being a teacher is a bit like being a parent, when it comes to subs- they can pull stunts with me, because I'm their teacher and will put 'em in their place. But they better be angels when someone else is babysitting, or I'll knock some heads together!
That's my attempt at being Tough Teacher. :-) Anyway, watch out for a nasty cold & flu bug going around!
That's always been one of my favorite written expressions (a favorite of Snoopy when he doesn't like something, in the Peanuts comic). This weekend it really fit. I was sucker-punched by some really nasty virus- cold, fever, aches, dizzy, the whole bit. And though I usually get over those in 24 hours, this one had me down for 2 whole days, plus the getting-sick and getting-better days on each end. Today I feel better but my sinuses are still having major problems (upon which I will not expound, to the relief of the reader). Fortunately I was able to pull together a sub lesson for Friday on Thursday night, because I could feel myself getting worse, so tomorrow morning I will see what awaits me back at school. Being a teacher is a bit like being a parent, when it comes to subs- they can pull stunts with me, because I'm their teacher and will put 'em in their place. But they better be angels when someone else is babysitting, or I'll knock some heads together!
That's my attempt at being Tough Teacher. :-) Anyway, watch out for a nasty cold & flu bug going around!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Round and round...
Pant, puff, pant, puff....
The hamster wheel that is teaching continues to keep me working furiously just to keep my place and not fall backwards.
It just started spinning a little faster now that the Christmas season is here and I have gift shopping and wrapping and holiday parties to attend to.
I'm still here... but I'll probably not surface until later this month.
Merry Christmas!
The hamster wheel that is teaching continues to keep me working furiously just to keep my place and not fall backwards.
It just started spinning a little faster now that the Christmas season is here and I have gift shopping and wrapping and holiday parties to attend to.
I'm still here... but I'll probably not surface until later this month.
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Doing, not Becoming
On the topic of my last post, here is a post from a friend-by-extension (since we have mutual friends, but never have spent too much time together) that seems to say exactly what I've been thinking lately. I find myself thinking about God a lot, but hardly talking to Him. I find myself extremely busy with things that are all good, needful things- teaching and trying to do my job with excellence, tending to my house, helping with the high school group at church, spending time with Brad (my favorite!), talking to people... but if they take me away from the Source of life, how will I have anything to give any of these people? I go through cycles where I see this clearly, ask forgiveness and try to depend more on God, only to get swept back into the current again. The emptiness below my sense of capability and urgency shows itself once in a while, when I realize that for someone who would say without hesitation that my relationship with God is the most important aspect of my life, I sure don't act like it. What is it that I want? What does real, deep communion with God feel like? I feel like I've been trying to learn to swim in His presence my whole life, but I'm still fighting the motions and my head is bobbing underwater, making me cough and sputter. If I could just learn to move with His presence, it would be effortless and free... but my attempts to make the motions on my own leave me dog-paddling and choking like a small child, swimming for the first time.
May this week be filled with more moments where I stop to talk with God and float in His love and forgiveness.
May this week be filled with more moments where I stop to talk with God and float in His love and forgiveness.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Confessions of a Spy
The title of this post makes it sound much more exciting than it is... I don't have any harrowing tales of infiltrating military bases or going undercover as a diplomatic envoy. But I do feel like a spy at times, or at least a gawker- one of those background bystanders in pictures of important events, wanting to get as close as possible to the action. The spying I do, though, is from my desk chair- I am a Blog Spy. I'm a drifter, one who nibbles and samples other people's thoughts, struggles, and random musings, leaving no trace of myself. Simply put, I read a lot of blogs, but I almost never comment on any of them. I have over 20 blogs on my 'favorites' toolbar for Explorer, all of which I visit every 3-4 days at least, yet I haven't left a comment on any of them for a long time. Some are pages of friends, a few are group forums, and some are strangers I've discovered through a '6 degrees of separation' link to the aforementioned friends or groups. Most of these people have no idea that I'm reading their blogs, that I drift by and see what they're thinking, that they scintillate or amuse or anger me. Every day I'm enriched, or at least taken outside my own life sphere, by what I see, yet I never respond to what these people give me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I've recently discovered a love of autobiographies. There's something of the people-watcher, the spy, in me. In fact, I think there's a fair measure of armchair psychologist, or at least strong curiosity for why people are such mysteries. People are fascinating- full of complexities, utterly unique and unpredictable.
I'm meandering, though- the question here is why I don't comment on other people's blogs. Every time I read a good post, that stirs up a thought or reaction, I think about commenting and immediately draw back. I'm still sorting through the reaction, and I know part of it is laziness- I have a hard time putting thoughts into words, and I'm very critical of what I've written. But a larger part of it is fear- a fear of exposing who I am (and thus who I'm not). I think I have such a desire to see myself as a smart person with a valuable comment on everything that I can't actually enter a dialogue with others, in case they out-argue or correct me or even just disagree with me. But I'm losing the chance to participate and engage with people, to actually get into the grit and texture of life, and I'm becoming a bystander, gazing through a window at what I see going on. I could go join the action- but by making a decision, that would define me more as a person, and therefore shut out some of those options that I so like to keep open. But what am I keeping them open for?
I don't think it's a coincidence that I've recently discovered a love of autobiographies. There's something of the people-watcher, the spy, in me. In fact, I think there's a fair measure of armchair psychologist, or at least strong curiosity for why people are such mysteries. People are fascinating- full of complexities, utterly unique and unpredictable.
I'm meandering, though- the question here is why I don't comment on other people's blogs. Every time I read a good post, that stirs up a thought or reaction, I think about commenting and immediately draw back. I'm still sorting through the reaction, and I know part of it is laziness- I have a hard time putting thoughts into words, and I'm very critical of what I've written. But a larger part of it is fear- a fear of exposing who I am (and thus who I'm not). I think I have such a desire to see myself as a smart person with a valuable comment on everything that I can't actually enter a dialogue with others, in case they out-argue or correct me or even just disagree with me. But I'm losing the chance to participate and engage with people, to actually get into the grit and texture of life, and I'm becoming a bystander, gazing through a window at what I see going on. I could go join the action- but by making a decision, that would define me more as a person, and therefore shut out some of those options that I so like to keep open. But what am I keeping them open for?
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