Tuesday, January 03, 2006

2 weeks of bliss

Happy 2006 to all! And by that I mean that I hope that you, reader, as well as myself, have a year of growth and challenges and grace and the awareness of God's love.
I've really enjoyed the first 3 days of this year, not for any huge reason other than I'm on break from school (well, from work- since my work is teaching school) and it's SO nice! The intuitive reader can probably deduce that since my last post was the middle of December and titled 'Sick', the weeks between then and now were filled first with a huge rush of end-of-semester craziness and holiday craziness, followed by the break. The intuitive reader probably cannot deduce that my 2 weeks of break (of which I only have half a week left) have been filled with a great visit to my family in California for Christmas, seeing old friends, spending time with HH (whole days when we're both off! I love those), staying up late and getting up late, and general laziness.
Side discovery- I think my natural sleep pattern, had I no constraints of alarms, work schedules, etc, would be about 12:30 am to 8 or 8:30 am. It's been so good to feel actually rested on a consistent basis! During the work week, though, giving that much time to sleep means less time with HH.
The enjoyment I'm feeling at these 2 weeks off, though, brings up musings on my attitude towards work. When I'm on break like this, I feel like I actually have a life that expresses me- I have time to read, to play music, to do rubber stamping, to clean the house to the level of organization that I want it to be, to see friends. Naturally, then, I wish that life could be like this all the time- no grading, no stress over lesson plans or kids' behavior, no early mornings, no 11-hour work days. Does that mean I hate my job? I know that I certainly don't like it sometimes, but on the other hand there are lots of satisfying and fun elements to it. Plus I certainly am not lazy when I'm working, and I sure get lazy fast when I'm on break like this. And it's not a reasonable expectation to have all leisure time and no responsibilities or work- most people for most of history haven't had that expectation (some aristocrats and royalty excepted). So I guess the main question is then the sense of mission that I do or don't have with my work- the more purpose it holds, and the more results I see, the more satisfaction (for any job, not just teaching). I think my joy at the break, and reluctance to think about going back on Monday, are partly because I lose sight of the purpose and the results (purpose seems theoretical, and results are rarely seen). I need to spend some time of my break mentally chewing on this, rather than putting it off until Monday morning. Hopefully it'll make the spring semester be more enjoyable and less something to be endured. Because I don't want to spend 4 months enduring something, I want to enjoy it!

1 comment:

Veronica said...

You said: "Side discovery- I think my natural sleep pattern, had I no constraints of alarms, work schedules, etc, would be about 12:30 am to 8 or 8:30 am." My how times have changed!! How is it that I am now the one collapsing into bed by 9:30 pm? I miss you! Glad to see you have also given in and joined the world of the bloggers. :) Looking forward to seeing what y'all are up to!