New York, someday....

It's a dream of mine to someday live in New York City.



Something about the millions of people, oceans of differences, shades of history, all packed together, pulls me deeply.



I'm not a person who makes things happen. New York City seems like a place where things can't help but happen, and then I'd be there in the midst of it.



It's just a daydream of mine. But it's one of my very favorites.

Toddler Psychology

What I heard when I picked up Madeleine from daycare today: "Madeleine had a very rough day". Oh, dear. I waited for J to elaborate and wondered what Madeleine had been up to. Apparently she made it her sport of the day to push and hit all the other kids she played with, scoff at timeouts, and even try to hit J when she was given a consequence. J was at a bit of a loss, and as we talked about it, I was too. I'm pretty sure Madeleine is doing this for the attention, even the negative attention she gets from consequences. It's tough because it's not something Brad or I can work with her on, because we're rarely with her when she's with other kids, and we give her quite a bit of attention by default at home. We don't focus on her all evening, but after being away from her all day, we play and talk with her quite a bit and there's not a lot of competition for our attention. So maybe at daycare (with a whole 2 kids and 1 adult!) she's seeking more attention. Or bored? Or testing boundaries? Or just plain spoiled?

Trying to figure out what's going on in a toddler's head is not an easy task, I'm finding. And it's equally as hard not to project my own thoughts/logic/weaknesses on her, and try to analyze things as if Madeleine were a mini-me. Example: as a kid I was devastated by any adult criticism, and so far Madeleine doesn't seem too fazed with our (or J's) disapproval. (That could be the age, though, too- she's still very concrete in her thinking, and I don't remember that far back in my own life. I was sensitive to criticism as an older kid, but maybe as a 2 year old I didn't care either.) And because Madeleine is so verbal, it's easy to think that I can reason all this out with her, but I'm finding that toddlers and reasoning don't always mesh. :-) But the cycle of disobedience-consequence-lather-rinse-repeat gets old fast and makes me wonder, what's the magic formula I'm missing? What do I say to turn my daughter into the little angel I know she could be?

Then I remember- that's not possible. She's human, and a small one at that. A little sinner to complement my bigger version. So I'll just keep trying to figure out the best ways to reinforce that we do what's right, and don't do what's wrong, over and over. And maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

If anyone has some good tips on the subject of disciple for toddlers, I'd love for you to share!

Mean Teacher

I'm going back to work tomorrow with my game face on. I've made a new seating chart, moving some disruptive kids right up under my nose or away from their friends, and I've got some new policies ready to enforce. I will be laying into the kids about their constant lack of supplies (they're always borrowing pencil and paper from me) and getting class started right on time. I've got a lunch detention policy lined up to help enforce these new, stricter rules.
I'm going to be the Grinch, and all the kids down in HMS-ville will all cry 'boo hoo!'. Heh, heh, heh.

New Year

I really love the start of each new year. I love getting things cleaned up, organized, and making lists of goals and tasks. This past week, being off from work, has been productive in organizing, and today I'm doing a few more tasks and just basking in the glow of my shiny new lists. Husband and I even went out to a coffeeshop last night and talked over our thoughts on 2010 and some goals for 2011, which was so soul-satisfying. (I used a great reflection questionnaire from Simple Mom, if you'd like to take a look.)
One interesting reflection on 2010, for me, was the realization that to-do lists and goals and organizing can actually turn into something negative. The more time and effort I spend in trying to get all my ducks in a row, the more worried and frustrated I get when things aren't turning out perfectly. It's an attempt to control life, and that never turns out well for me at all. :-) So this year, I will try to make lists and plans for my life, within reason, but also spend time talking with God about His plans for me.
A very happy 2011 to all of you!

Things I Loved about my 30th Birthday

So, most people who know me know that I wasn't looking forward to today.... I have NOT wanted to turn 30 (and I've been kind of a pain to older people whining about it a lot- which I'm sorry for doing!) But the day came, as days tend to do, and I have to say that I had a completely wonderful day today. It was about as close to perfect as days come. Here are some of the things I'm thankful for on my 30th birthday:

-rain, glorious pouring rain, AND a gorgeous, bright, double rainbow this afternoon!
-breakfast with my dear friend Candace (whom I've missed muchly since our schedules have been completely opposite the last few months)
-a good and ahem, interesting morning at church (our pastor is doing a series on sex, and there were topics discussed which usually don't get discussed in church. But it was good that they were discussed!)
-lunch with more good friends (Josh & Liz, Gina, Deric & Jessica) and the aforementioned pouring rain
-a fabulous pedicure with more friends! (Stacy, Jessica, Nikki) It included massage and lotions and designs on toes and was completely relaxing.
-coffee with the pedicure bunch!
-a relaxing evening with Mum and Dad (Brad's parents) and Stacy, watching the Oscars and watching Madeleine be her usual charming self
-which brings me to all the moments I was able to spend today with my beautiful, cute-as-a-bug daughter!
-lovely cards and some birthday shopping money from family!
-phone calls from my family
-snuggles with my dear husband
-a warm bed, a dry house, and spring break only a week away
-lots and lots of daffodils!

What a perfect birthday! :-) This bodes well for the rest of my 30s. I hope it's filled with adventures!

Almost 1!

Only 2 days until Madeleine's 1st birthday... I can't believe it. I held a 7-pound baby at church today and couldn't convince myself that Madeleine was ever that small (well, almost that small)!

Today's Batch of Cuteness

Brought to you courtesy of Madeleine, 9 months old :-)